I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
