I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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