You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize