'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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