I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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