i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Randomize
