White coat. Heels.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
