After last night, I could never be a politician.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
