ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
