I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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