Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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