This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize