Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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