Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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