How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
