Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
