My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
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