are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
