It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
He kissed a someone with a penis
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Someone shattered a urinal.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
