Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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