dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i think we sleep fucked last night...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
