discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
NoShamevember. You game?
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
