I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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