your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
