So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize