Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
It's rum buckets o'clock
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
