Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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