is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
