put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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