the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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