Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
