everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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