Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
