from now on my penis is your penis
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
