he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
the room spins SO much faster in panama
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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