I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Shame - the story of my life.
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