You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Randomize
