absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
