I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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