He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
