Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
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