If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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