I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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