found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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