your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
