You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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