With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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