Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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