I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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