I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
