She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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