What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
accomplished twins. life is a go
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Life is so much better after having sex.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
