omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
