Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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