His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
