She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize