STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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