Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
