In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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