NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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