I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
